Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

I have a half-sister, “Constance,” who is 15 years younger than I am. Constance was a wild teenager and ended up getting pregnant at the age of 14. At the time my husband and I had struggled with four miscarriages and multiple years of IVF. My dad and stepmom were beside themselves and asked if we would be willing to adopt the baby, and we agreed. That was 10 years ago. We had originally planned to tell our son the truth about his origins when he was old enough, but Constance is now adamant that he should never find out—especially now that she is going to be married (her fiancé doesn’t know that his soon-to-be “nephew” is actually her biological chi

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