SEATTLE, WA

Eager to win over some hockey fans in the Fraser Valley from the Vancouver Canucks, the owners of the NHL’s latest misguided attempt at making hockey work in a non-hockey market have decided to call the team the “Seattle Knackin'”.

“We know those Mennonites north of the border are big hackey fans, so we had to do something to appeal to them,” said Seattle General Manager Ron Francis. “You should see our mascot? We call him Knackin’ Kroeker!”

Knackin’ Kroeker and the Seattle Knackin’ will be lacing up their skates next season, but in the meantime, the team is desperately trying to get some fans.

“Free knackzoat with the purchase of any pair of tickets,” said Francis. “We’ll even throw in some Papsi and maybe even a Ravel on the side.”

Not willing to take this pilfering of h

See Full Page