While any just ordinary Mennonite can drain a swamp, milk a cow, or shoe a horse, only a rare few have these amazing superpowers. How many do you possess?

Teleportation : The ability of Mennonite moms to be in all places at all times.

Laser vision : Used to point out the “inappropriate” tops worn by all the young women in church.

Psychic mental power: The ability to determine which of these strangers is related to you.

Cross-dimensional awareness : The power to read sheet music.

Omni-linguism : Rapidly switching back and forth between English and Plautdietsch.

Masking : Looking happy on the outside while being miserable on the inside.

Invisibility : The ability to make heathens and outsiders appear invisible.

Mind control : The power of elders and pastors to keep their cong

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