WASHINGTON — The servers for a new Nazi dating app called Thousand-Year Romance crashed during a recent convention for officers and new recruits late last night, multiple frustrated sources confirmed.

“I signed up for this app because I want to meet a woman with blonde hair, blue eyes, and a nice pure bloodline. But the dang thing hasn’t loaded in hours. I’m so mad I might just go put on my uniform and beat the crap out of a street food vendor,” said new ICE recruit Donny Langston. “Here I am trying to keep America safe from migrant workers who want to cross the border and work on our farms, but I can’t get a moment of relaxation. And yeah, I’ve tried other dating apps, but as soon as someone sees my ICE vest they call me a ‘Worthless piece of dog shit’ and block me. It’s sad really. They

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