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I was still a virgin at 20, though I’d acquired a boyfriend just after I turned 19. I wasn’t religious, but from an early age, I’d been instilled—by society, schools, parents—with a deep sense of shame, especially when it came to my body and the things I did with it. Though I didn’t believe sex should be reserved for marriage, I did believe that it should be reserved for love. (I don’t anymore.)

In the year that we didn’t have sex, my boyfriend and I rarely discussed the topic. We rarely discussed any topics. On the other hand, my girlfriends—all of them older and deliriously more experienced—talked about it a great deal. They were mesmerized by the concept of a

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