WASHINGTON, D.C. - Democrat legislators in Washington, D.C. retired en masse today as the Supreme Court is already doing their job for them.

As yet another law was written out of thin air by SCOTUS, Democrats suddenly realized they were redundant and could retire peacefully in the knowledge that their legislative agenda would be enacted entirely through the courts.

"Our job is to make laws, but the Supreme Court is writing the laws we wanted to pass much more easily," said Nancy Pelosi in her retirement speech. "They just have to say some stuff and then bang that magic hammer down, and presto. New laws ex nihilo ."

When asked what they were going to do with their lives, Democrats' answers varied. "I'm going to open a store where everything is free," said Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez thou

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