MADISON, WI — According to sources, local woman Millie Barnes has begun transitioning away from being cold due to the weather and will spend the next 3 to 4 months being cold because of the air conditioning.

"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-rrrrrrrr," said Barnes in a statement to the press which was barely audible due to uncontrollable shivering. "Hg-g-g-g-g-g, fffff-f-f-f-f-f-f-f ch-ch-ch-ch-ch!"

Experts say Barnes is just one of the thousands of women affected by a cruel yearly ritual in which men turn on indoor climate control to keep things at a comfortable 68 degrees — a temperature science has shown cannot sustain a woman's life.

Sources close to the Barnes family confirmed Millie will now put her winter blankets into storage to be replaced by her summer blankets. She also has plans to open window

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