Unless you’ve been living under a rock — or possibly in a barrel, you know that Cracker Barrel decided to “modernize” its branding by ditching the well-worn image of a man (affectionately known as Uncle Herschel or “Old Timer”) leaning on a barrel. In its place: just the company’s name in a minimalist, text-only logo set inside a yellow hexagon.

Reaction was instantaneous, hysterical, and bipartisan. Conservatives howled that Cracker Barrel had “gone woke” and abandoned tradition, with Donald Trump Jr. leading the charge Liberals piled on too, calling the redesign “cheap,” “soulless,” even “sterile”—a branding atrocity masquerading as modernity. Veteran patrons lamented the loss of nostalgia and what it symbolized.

The company’s CEO, Julie Felss Masino, didn’t seem phased. She insisted t

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