How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

My husband (we’re both men) brought home a guy for a threesome without telling me, saying he wanted it to be a “surprise.” It was. The guy happened to be incredibly hot, so I went along with it anyway, but I think him springing this on me without consulting me first was pretty thoughtless. Should I try pulling the same trick on him and see how he likes it?

—What Goes Around…

Dear What Goes Around…,

You’re asking if you should punish your husband for what? Bringing a hot guy home? Please. I agree with you that he should have asked you first, but he didn’t and you tacitly forgave that by having sex. If the experience was nevertheless unenjoyable o

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