EARTH

A Mennonite man will be circling the Earth for the next two months, causing what scientists are calling a “mini-moon.”

“It’s not as large as the moon we usually see,” said Neil DeGrasse Tyson, “but it’s enough to make everyone uncomfortable.”

The mini-moon is being attributed to local plumber Bob Wiens of the Rosenort area.

“Whenever he bends over to fix a pipe or reach for some zoat, we’re always at risk of a mini-moon,” said DeGrasse Tyson. “That man really needs a new pair of suspenders.”

The mini-moon had caused quite the excitement in Rosenort where residents are already gazing into the sky hoping they can catch a glimpse of their local celebrity.

“We had the ladies Bible study staring into the night sky all evening,” said Diane Heppner. “But some say the mini-moon is too

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