If you felt someone sneak up behind you recently and tap you on the head, that was your being counted as part of the census. Now all the census data is in, and some of it is quite surprising.

Every single white woman is named Karen. And there simply aren't enough managers to talk to in order to sustain the Karen population.

Not a single American liked The Last Jedi . They asked everyone, and no one liked it. Weird.

23% of the population has been canceled. But they're still counted in the census as full people, much to the consternation of liberals.

There are no longer any racial minorities, as it's now an even six-way split. That solves all our problems.

No one actually lives in North Dakota. Why would they?

64% of the population is gay. That's a lot less than you'd think f

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