YOSEMITE, CA — During a camping retreat this week to recharge for more rioting before, during, and after the midterm elections, a group of progressives sat around a campfire and enjoyed swapping scary stories about climate change.

"Then, the tropical storms combined with the raging wildfires into an inferno – and then, the floods from the melting ice caps filled up with acid rain, and tornadoes broke out!" Gretchen Deebly spoke to her friends with a solar-powered flashlight under her chin, her face barely illuminated from the weak charge. Her friends huddled together under a microfiber Patagonia blanket that provided no warmth, sources confirm, noting that their skinny vegan bodies also failed to provide any warmth. According to sources, the liberals whimpered "This is terrifying!" as Dee

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