MONTREAL, Quebec — Regular viewers of the online pornography streaming company PornHub looked on with a strange mixture of horror and excitement as the company announced its first ever Shark Week, confirmed sources.

“OK, what’s their angle here?” asked local pervert Jesse Entingh with some newspaper placed suspiciously over his lap. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge fan of autoeroticism and the erogenous cinematic arts, but hot sharks just sound frightening. I mean I’m already afraid of a woman’s teeth when getting a blowjob, or I would be if I could ever get one. But a shark blowjob would just have way too many teeth that forever regenerate which is what I learned from regular Shark Week. But then again maybe the danger is what would make it hot. Oh god, my boner is so confused.”

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