My phone started buzzing with so many alerts and messages that smoke started rising from it and it is now melted to my desk.

I swear I heard sirens blaring, startling the workforce away from their tasks to take heed of the emergency announcement.

Throughout the sky, pilots interrupted their flights to deliver passengers the urgent information over their intercoms.

Heck, even Fox News cut away from Donald Trump speaking in order to herald the news. That’s how big it is.

The immediate hysteria over the announcement that Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are officially engaged was such that I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Moses came down from the mountaintop with Taylor’s Instagram post etched onto a tablet, ensuring that the its sacred missive—“Your English teacher and your gym tea

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