WINKLER, MB

Researchers in Winkler have hacked an Amazon Alexa Personal Assistant and implanted it with the voice of their Oma Gerta Sawatzky. The new Amazon Gerta is available in fine Mennonite retailers everywhere. Here are a few questions you can ask Gerta.

Hey, Gerta, what’s the weather like today?

Gerta: Oba, you’re going to really need to bundle up for sure yet. (Editor’s note: Gerta says this no matter what the temperature is.)

Hey, Gerta, what should I have for dinner tonight?

Gerta: That’s a silly question, Andrew. You always dine a Shackan Shaf.

Gerta, sing Hymn 606.

Gerta: Praise God from whom all blessing flow. Praise him all creatures here belong. Praise him above, ye heavenly host. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen. (Editor’s note. You need to sync up four Amazo

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