Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

My in-laws live a four-hour flight away but visit us five to six times a year. They’re both retired and enjoy traveling. My husband and I are parents to their only grandchildren, and they claim they love spending time with them. But their behavior shows otherwise, in my opinion.

Their visits typically revolve around concerts, so they have a number of nights out while they stay with us. This is usually fine, but when they decide to see their favorite bands’ multiple east coast tour stops, we feel like our apartment is a convenient, free Airbnb for them. It seems like seeing their grandchildren is not their actual priority. They also don’t really p

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