“I wanna try and get to heaven if possible. I’m hearing I’m not doing well… I am really at the bottom of the totem pole. But if I can get to heaven, this will be one of the reasons.” —Donald Trump, discussing his efforts to end the war in Ukraine during an August 19 interview with Fox & Friends.

It’s the most self-reflective thing I’ve ever heard from the president, a surprising admission that, for all the braggadocio, all the anger, all the denials of any wrong-doing ever, something human still beats in that Grinchian heart. That small something is telling him what the rest of us already know—the dude sucks. He has always sucked. That if there’s any karmic justice in this world, Hell is having the red carpet steam cleaned in anticipation of it being rolled out for a very special new resi

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