ALBANY, NY - Amid calls for his resignation, embattled New York Governor Andrew Cuomo defended himself as the victim of America's cruel history of bigotry against Italian people who murder the elderly while also being sex predators.

"I'm being persecuted, and I'm sad to say this is nothing new," said Cuomo in a statement. "America has struggled with this kind of racism for a long time. We Italian guys have a long and proud culture of groping every single woman we encounter, and of killing thousands of seniors in nursing homes. It's just a part of our heritage, and too many people in this country are prejudiced against that. I really feel sorry for them. It's sad, really."

The Italian grandma-killing sex predator community has released a statement of solidarity with the governor.

"We cel

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