HERBERT, SK

One young man is on life support at the Herbert Hospital after a late night game of Russian Mennonite Roulette did not go as planned. Arnold Vogt, 20, was rushed to Emergency with severe abdominal pain after consuming a bowl of mysterious contents from Oma Dueck’s freezer.

“They’re a bunch of hungry young men–I understand that,” said Dr. Timothy Unger. “But they need to take precautions when eating random substances from grandma’s deepfreeze.”

Apparently it’s not uncommon for young Mennonite men to raid their grandmother’s pantry or refrigerator late at night and eat whatever they find, but Dr. Unger says this practice presents far too big a risk.

“Nine times out of ten it might be just fine, but if you grab the wrong item, well, you’re taking your life into your hands,” ex

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