WASHINGTON — Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. claimed that he could tell a child is unhealthy just by licking them, sources confirmed.

“I know what a healthy child is supposed to taste like,” said Kennedy alongside his Make America Healthy Again team. “You can get a lot of information from tongue to skin contact. Temperature, salinity, texture, they should in no way taste gamey or stale, yet the children I lick when I’m walking through the airport or down the street all taste the same, unhealthy. The President and I are adamant that every child in this country needs to pass the lick test before we can truly make America healthy again.”

This unusual talent Kennedy Jr. possesses has been vital in the legislation he and his team are pursuing to pass into law.

“He h

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