Complaining friends: How to handle chronic complainers and protect your own wellbeing

There’s complaining. And then there’s complaining.

In its more benign form, complaining between friends can feel beneficial . Light grousing about a mutual foe, for example, can cultivate camaraderie. Grumbling about everyday frustrations such as bad weather, traffic jams or housing costs can be cathartic and validate feelings. What’s more, venting to an empathic listener can make you feel supported if you have an intractable or confounding problem.

Complaining can turn toxic, though, when it’s relentless, humourless or mean-spirited. When the tone of the complaints is angry or self-pitying, you can start to feel resentful and burdened. Complaining can become contagious. You can get caught up in their worries and end up feeling negative too, and down you go in your own spiral. Then you