CAMBRIDGE, MA — President Biden announced plans today to forgive $10,000 in student loan debt for anyone making less than $125k per year. In completely unrelated news, the nation's colleges and universities announced plans to immediately raise tuition by $10,000.

"Look, Jack! Here's the deal! No malarkey at all! Not a joke!" said Biden before an aide had to step in and explain he was signing an order to forgive student loan debt.

Dr. Charles Moneybags, director of the National Association for the Advancement Of College Professors (NAACP), said he applauds the president's decision to cancel student debt for so many borrowers. "We're very excited that a college education will be more affordable for the next generation of art history majors," he said.

Moneybags then went on to explain why

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