Key points

Foster youth behaviors are survival signals; what looks “hysterical” is often trauma’s echo.

Separation trauma imprints danger, shaping mistrust, hyper-vigilance, and regulation struggles.

Meet kids at their emotional age, not their chronological age; trauma often causes developmental regression.

Shift from “What’s wrong?” to “What happened?” Reframing behavior breeds healing and belonging.

When foster youth act out, whether through tantrums, withdrawal, or defiance, society too often labels them as “problem kids.” Teachers may see them as disruptive, caregivers describe them as manipulative, and even professionals sometimes misdiagnose them. But what looks “hysterical” on the surface is often the child’s best attempt to survive overwhelming loss.

As I often remind parents

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