Brought to you by: PublicSq.

In case you haven't heard, everything is woke now! This includes all your favorite places to shop. Since you can't swing a dead cat without hitting something woke, you may be left wondering if you can shop anywhere anymore.

Have no fear! The Babylon Bee is here to provide you with the following list of non-woke places to shop.

The Ark Encounter gift shop: Your options may be limited to items related to the Great Flood, but we're sure you can find something suitable.

The South Face: This may be a shady knock-off in the alley behind The North Face, but you can still get yourself a ridiculously overpriced coat.

Church garage sale: Plenty of clothing options are available here, as long as you don't mind wearing Steve's old pair of gym shorts.

Crazy Mohamme

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