Key points

Overcommitting to tasks leaves us detached from the present and drained of energy.

Cognitive fusion tricks us into believing we must always do more to keep up.

Avoiding uncomfortable feelings by staying busy adds to our long-term stress.

There’s a classic organizational psychology metaphor called “rocks in the jar.” The idea is simple: You have limited time (the jar), and only so many rocks (tasks) can fit inside. If you start with the big rocks—your most important priorities—you’ll have room for smaller pebbles later.

That advice worked fine a decade ago. But these days, most of us are cheating the system. We’re cramming sand and gravel into every open space—squeezing in more than we can actually carry. Instead of living inside our lives, we end up feeling detached from th

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