Asylum-seekers To Be Made to Eat Stringy Bits From Bananas

In their latest attempt to appear tough on immigration, the government has announced that all detained asylum seekers above the age of twelve will be fed on a diet consisting entirely of the stringy strips of banana skin that people fastidiously peel off from the fruit before discarding.These fibrous strips, or, 'fluffy runners' to give them their biological name, contain small amounts of starch and potassium and very little else.A Home Office spokesperson told NewsBiscuit: 'During the Second Wo