After weeks of suspense, the big day has finally arrived. The Scottish government has arranged a meeting in Inverness with quango and industry bosses to discuss what is apparently one of the most pressing issues facing Scotland. Not the future of the oil and gas industry, not the failures in the country’s rural health service and not even the dualling of Scotland’s most dangerous road, which runs by the city. No – not content with bashing Westminster, the SNP government has declared a war on, er, seagulls.

Ahead of today’s ‘serious’ meeting, the Scottish government dedicated £100,000 to controlling the increasingly mischievous bird population to cover gull deterrents – like lasers, roof spikes and anti-nesting nets. It all sounds rather extreme, but even that hasn’t placated anti-gull act

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