Key points

Avoidance makes us hide the parts of ourselves we fear are unlovable, leaving us disconnected and stuck.

Dialectical behavior therapy teaches that two things can coexist—we can be strong and vulnerable.

Reframing self-talk with compassion helps integrate hidden parts of ourselves into a sense of wholeness.

Practicing “and” instead of “or” allows us to embrace our strengths and vulnerabilities at the same time.

Do you ever feel like parts of yourself are welcome in the world, while others must stay hidden?

I was reminded of this recently at my son’s birthday party. He wanted to see KPop Demon Hunters in the theater. Honestly, I went reluctantly—animated movies aren’t usually my thing. But as I sat there, popcorn in hand, I realized the story was striking at something I se

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