Though last week’s premiere ended with what looked like a found-footage horror film of our Housewives venturing out into a haunted forest, rest assured that everybody came out alive (perhaps to Lisa Barlow’s dismay). “They’re not gonna let us die, it’s too much of a liability for the network,” Meredith even says, but then again, it is Bravo, so don’t get too comfortable, Mer. And speaking of discomfort, I’m genuinely shocked that these women actually all spent the night in that tiny RV, sleeping in what (at best) looked like AMC recliners. Of course there was no chance of Lisa Barlow showing up for that, let’s be real. She wouldn’t even fly coach!

For breakfast, they inexplicably make steaks, trying and failing to eat them with plastic cutlery, and Heather opens up about feeling ready to

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