Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

My parents have always had some issues with respecting boundaries that my wife “Mia” and I set for our two boys, ages 5 and 7, but last weekend they did something that has my wife ready to cut them off for good.

My parents were scheduled to take the kids on Saturday morning and have them back by dinnertime while Mia and I attended the bar mitzvah of a friend’s son.

When we got back in the late afternoon, we received a text with pics of my parents and our kids at a famous aquarium—one that is a several-hour drive or a plane-ride away from our home! Apparently my parents decided to surprise the boys and had the trip in the works since we asked them

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