Key points

True commitment means showing up for your relationship consistently, even when it’s hard.

You can’t force love and commitment, but you can take responsibility for your part and show up fully.

Passion and connection can be restored. With effort, intimacy, romance, & sexual connection can be reignited.

If you are married or in a long-term committed relationship, “How committed are you” may sound like an odd question. Of course you're committed—you said "I do," signed a mortgage, maybe even made tiny humans together. As a couples therapist who's worked with thousands of couples, I've witnessed something heartbreaking. Here's the uncomfortable truth - True commitment is much rarer than we think, and it's not what you believe it is.

The Commitment Illusion

We believe that getti

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