MARTENSVILLE, SK

Video game giant Nintendo has just released a new 8-bit game called Super Martens Bros. with the intent of capturing the last demographic they did not yet have: Mennonites.

“Super Martens Bros. is an exciting new game featuring Corny and Abe Martens, two trajchtmoakas from Jantsied who are trying to rescue Princess Aganetha,” said a Nintendo spokesperson. “Let me tell you, you’ve never seen a game quite like this!”

Video game experts IGN have already given the game a 8.5/10 saying that “it’s even better than the original!”

“I think this is the game that will finally get Mennonites to abandon their traditional prohibition against electronic devices and finally give video games a whirl,” said IGN. “Super Martens Bros. is a game for the whole family!”

The new game comes

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