The new Starbucks Protein Coffee drinks are the sort of things you’d see in a dystopian YA novel where the main character is overlooked and misunderstood while trying to balance the affections of two moody boys.

It’s coffee with protein mixed into the milk – along with some flavorings. In the book, it would be a metaphor for how the post-apocalyptic world stripped away all the color and nutrients and left them with just this nutrient drink of caffeine and protein.

But the main character doesn’t take the flavorings in hers. Because she’s different .

90s It’s the sort of thing you order when you’re a zombie in the morning and need something akin to plugging a USB-C charger into yourself to get some energy.

I’m not here to judge. I’m actually one-eighth breakfast goblin on my grandf

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