Key points

New mothers often internalize failure when rigid parenting methods don’t work.

Personal journals reveal how method-based parenting can fuel obsessive, harmful behaviors.

Cognitive self-blame leads mothers to believe they are broken, rather than question unrealistic advice.

Redefining “success” in motherhood may begin with accepting messiness, not mastering methods.

Lily at two weeks old. A few weeks later I'd be hospitalized. Source: Loren Kleinman

The Kitchen Table at 2:40 a.m.

In my last post, I wrote about how baby sleep books contributed to my postpartum mental health crisis. This time, I want to go deeper into the quiet, dangerous place many mothers retreat to when the method fails and we blame ourselves.

I was hunched over the kitchen table, tracking ounces on a

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