NOVATO, CA - Local pastor Lance Vaccarino was declared to be disqualified from ministry at Sunrise Christian Church after his midichlorian test came back negative.

The fallen pastor will be placed under church discipline and assigned to the welcome team until a full investigation can be conducted.

Vaccarino has served faithfully for three years, but the church had their doubts about just how Spirit-filled and Force-driven he was. So they scheduled a midichlorian test for him, and sure enough, he didn't have a single one of the microscopic organisms that imbue a person with Force sensitivity, preaching ability, and mad lightsaber skills.

"His ministry just didn't seem very Spirit-driven, so we ordered the midichlorian test, and sure enough, he doesn't have any," said deacon Sam Willaby.

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