Key points

People Google “Is porn cheating?” because they fear fantasy means disloyalty. It doesn’t.

Openness beats secrecy. Honest porn talk = happier, sexier relationships.

It’s not about the porn; it’s about open communication.

Every month, millions of people type the same question into Google: “Is watching porn cheating?” It’s one of the internet’s most common relational dilemmas, and yet, for all the hot-takes and moral outrage, there’s surprisingly little thoughtful discussion about what’s actually going on psychologically, such as why people feel threatened, and when porn use truly becomes a problem.

As someone who studies the science of sexuality and has been happily married for 20 years, I approach this question from two perspectives: as a professor with a Ph.D. in human se

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