How Deep Is the Wound?

Key points

Not every painful experience becomes trauma—depth of emotional damage exists on a spectrum.

Relational wounds from heartbreak and betrayal reshape emotional scripts differently than neglect.

Resolution means processing unresolved emotions and relocating memories.

The nervous system's survival strategy becomes traumatization only when overwhelm feels unmanageable.

In our current conversations around mental health, the word "trauma" is ubiquitous. It seems everyone, in one way or another, feels aggravated and damaged by it. I find this concerning. That's why I keep explaining that not every painful experience is or becomes a traumatic wound. Knowing how deep a wound goes—and what that implies for care—can spare people unnecessary labels and distress, help clinicians choose