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You have a friend. You love them, but something is clearly wrong with them. Their feet are deformed. They smell like old yogurt, and possibly they live in a van. No, you're not friends with a tree gnome. You are friends with a rock climber. Climbing has skyrocketed in popularity since Alex Honnold's documentary, Free Solo . I have now been climbing for over half my life—far too long to be as bad at it as I am—and the likelihood that you are now friends with one of our demented brother- and sisterhood is higher than ever.

Every climber is fussy about the shoes, harnesses, and ropes they like t

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