Police shootings are a major problem in this country. We know this because everyone says so. Why can't police just stop using their guns? We'll tell you why: because they haven't heard about these 7 much better options, that's why!

If you're a cop, here are 7 non-lethal techniques you need to start using immediately:

Show them a series of Jordan Peterson clips on your phone: Within 2-3 hours of viewing, the criminal suspect will be ready to take personal responsibility and find the meaning in life!

Squirt gun filled with pee: Right in the mouth. Works every time.

Bring Joe Biden with you: Biden is widely feared in the criminal underworld ever since his courageous showdown with Cornpop. One look at Biden and the criminal will surrender.

Try a Three Stooges finger-jab: Moe famously

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