WAKING up with a hangover so excruciating I briefly consider hiring an online exorcist to banish it, I reflect on another eventful week in my ministry.

Prince Andrew has been the subject of much media attention after being stripped of certain titles due to revelations in the posthumous memoir of Virginia Giuffre. He thus requested a private audience with me, in the hope that I might act as a spiritual buttress for him. This was granted.

‘I’ve given up an awful lot of my titles, you know,’ Andrew told me.

‘Really?’ I say. ‘Such as?’

‘Well, I am no longer Grand Duchy to the Order of Water Rats, or Honorary President of the National Budgerigar Association, or Chief Coxcomb in the Scatological Shakespeare Appreciation Society, or -’

‘But you’re still Prince Andrew, right? I mean, that’s t

See Full Page