Key points

Self-interested behaviors are those in which people use others for self-enhancement.

Conversation is a key setting for self-obsessed expression.

Understanding psychological, social, and cultural causes helps people respond.

In her 2024 novel Tell Me Everything , writer Elizabeth Strout explores the intricacies of human relationships. All of us, it seems, have distinctive ways of expressing ourselves. We have “backstories” as well as present predicaments and hopes for the future. Our lives fall into patterns, and it isn't easy to counter the logic of those arrangements.

Among Strout’s characters is a middle-aged minister, Margaret, who seems accomplished in every way. She receives respect from her congregation and handles her responsibilities professionally. But she has a

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