So it seems that Britain’s least eligible bachelor is finally removing his teddy bears.

Reports suggest that the rent-free fairytale’s over, the gates are closing, and Andrew – formerly known as Prince – is admitting defeat.

The poor man has lost his battle to stay in a house the size of a cushy hotel. Tragic, really.

But that raises as many questions as answers, chiefly: where is Andrew off to?

That’s the real enigma. He still might get another royal residence, with reports suggesting Frogmore Cottage.

That name has a conveniently humble ring to it. In reality, the former home of Harry and Meghan has five bedrooms, four bathrooms, sweeping lawns and a cavernous kitchen bigger than the cafe where I write.

It says a lot about the degree to which this has royal tug-of-work. The public

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