THE prime minister has decided not to sack Rachel Reeves because you all love her so much and she is doing a great job.

Keir Starmer has called off an investigation into the chancellor’s breach of housing rules for the simple reason that she is a beloved national treasure who the country cannot bear to lose.

Starmer said: “Britain hasn’t truly got over the death of the Queen. The last thing it needs is to say goodbye to another woman who occupies such a special place in the nation’s heart.

“So what if she didn’t obtain the correct rental licence? When you’ve ushered in a new golden age of economic prosperity and improved everyone’s quality of life tenfold you’re allowed to make the odd mistake.

“If anything, fraudulently renting out her family home is just one of the adorable quirks th

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