Grab your flannel shirts and your mittens—we’re in full-on fall mode. It’s that time of year when the only cooking I ever want to do is a large pot of something that takes minimal effort and will nourish me for several days. Otherwise, I want all of my food handed off to me, preferably while sipping a warm (or warming) beverage, while fretting about the next time I need to step outside. As such, let’s plan out the ultimate fall day of eating, drinking, and being merry.

Official disclaimer: We are imagining an ideal world. One where I do not get full. I do not get intoxicated. Transportation times are nonexistent, nor are menu prices. And I certainly won’t feel the effects of any of this for days afterward. Like Goldeneye’s Boris Grishenko, I am invincible.

Let’s eat, baby.

The Morning P

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