Dear Prudence is Slate’s advice column. For this edition, Sam Adams , a Slate writer and senior editor, will be filling in as Prudie. Submit questions here. (It’s anonymous!)

Dear Prudence,

I’m a 28-year-old man watching some of my friends become parents for the first time. My oldest friend just had his first kid with his wife eight months ago, and recently, another friend announced they’re expecting. Now that our circle has a few more parents in it, the question of whether my long-time girlfriend and I should have kids has come up more than a few times.

We go back and forth on whether we want them. Some days, we think yes, definitely, especially when we spend time with our friend’s kid. Other days, the answer is less clear. I’m worried about making this life-altering

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