Erika Kirk (née Frantzve) is opening up about her new reality following Charlie Kirk’s death.

In Us Weekly’s exclusive sneak peek of Erika’s first TV interview since her husband was shot and killed, the grieving widow, 36, is asked by Fox News host Jesse Watters to share the hardest part of her day.

“The nights are the hardest, being in a bed by yourself,” Erika says in the preview of the Wednesday, November 5, episode of Jesse Watters Primetime. “Rolling over trying to [get a] goodnight kiss that’s not there.”

On September 10, Charlie was shot and killed during a speech at Utah Valley University in Orem, Utah, as part of his American Comeback Tour. He was 31.

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