Sex advice: I was going down on the man I'm seeing. That's when he gave me a very unwanted "surprise."

How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Jessica and Rich here . It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

I’m a woman and I’ve been hooking up with a guy, “Liam,” on and off for a few months now. Recently, while I was blowing him, Liam caught me completely off guard.

He disengaged and shot his load all over my face. He never discussed it with me beforehand, and it even got in my hair (I had to resort to cutting some off!). I am beyond furious that he didn’t clear this with me before he did it. He apologized and said he thought I would be fine with it since we incorporate a little bit of BDSM into our sex routines and promised it wouldn’t happen again. Should this be a deal breaker?

—Unwanted Spunk Surprise

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