Possibly the most frustrated I ever got during my pregnancy was when I read a tip in a baby-advice book that said something like, “Swap child care with one of your friends—it takes a village!” At the time, I lived an hour from most of my friends, almost none of whom had kids. I didn’t have a village, but now I had another thing to feel bad about.

No one knows where the adage “It takes a village” came from exactly. Though it was popularized by Hillary Clinton’s 1996 book of the same name, an NPR investigation suggested that it might be “some sort of pseudo-African mix of Hallmark and folk sentiments.” But the proverb is now ubiquitous, along with its equally grating corollary, “Don’t be afraid to ask for help.” To name just one example, the American Academy of Pediatrics’ baby bible, Carin

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