Relationships are supposed to be safe places where you can rest in the knowledge that you’re valued and accepted as you are. But many couples find themselves stuck in a recurring pattern where one partner begins to “test” the other. This may be subtle but often unsettling in nature.

These tests may appear as quizzes about past conversations (“Do you remember what I told you last week?”), hypothetical scenarios (“Would you still love me if…?”) or trick situations designed to see how much effort or loyalty the other will demonstrate.

At the beginning, these pop quizzes can look playful or trivial—until you realize they likely stem from deeper unresolved insecurity, fear of abandonment, or old relational and attachment wounds seeking resolution. Naturally, though, this dynamic takes awa

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