This is a newsletter bonus question. Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

My daughter is about to turn 6. Last year we invited her whole preschool class, and this year we invited her whole kindergarten class. When parents text to let me know their child is attending, they will often ask what my kid likes or what she might want as a present. I feel a twinge of guilt whenever I reply at face value (“oh, cats and unicorns or arts and crafts!”), I guess because I’m making the implicit (gifts are commonly given at kids’ birthday parties) explicit, and it feels like I’m straight-up asking them to buy a gift. But texting back that gifts aren’t expected feels odd, because I never put that on t

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